Thank you again Anthony... I fear I must keep repeating to myself, "It's not my fault, it's my fault". It is difficult as my husband says. And Evie dear, you are absolutely right, we weren't nasty to Brian at all. We did everything we could. Thank you for reminding us to look at it more realistically. Perhaps I am simply looking for an answer as to why my child is dead, and it is easy to point the finger at myself.