Well, my day wasn't too bad. Kind of hit an emotional shut down, just not feeling today. Services are Wendsday and the guilt trips continue but are not even phasing me now.

Was pissed that my poles were not hanging where they should but ended up in the garage floor and someone rolled the pressure washer on them. Screwed them all up and said hell with it and went and bought me a new pole and a cheapo one for my buddy to use.

Got him past all the gun gear for us to end up in the paint gun area... we debated it but then I remembered, ass, you used to be SWAT, I am not going to have a paint ball fight with you, though it sounded like a fun challange. Let me know when you and the guys head out again and pick some gear up for me and I will just be on your team, besides with the back hurting a shot in the kidney would have hurt like a mother. He is my best friend, but it doesn't mean he would show me mercy!

Got a nice cat fish on my second cast, I wasn't trying for one yet so surprised me. Just made me feel like he was there. Only one I got today though! Figure I will just stick it in the freezer and just use it for cut bait next time. Did not stick around too long as by the time I got the new poles and got to my private spot it just got too hot. Saw a gator dump in the water on the bank opposite of us and asked if he had his gun on him, nope. Did not have mine so I was a little uneasy. I don't like the gators. Something about being potential chow doesn't sit well with me.

And I am down to a size 5, woo hoo. Had gained a bit of weight going through this and stress went the other way and started coming off again. I think simply just being too lazy to get up or out of bed to eat. I was looking for some jeans and hit teen daughter's closet and they fit nice. Tables have turned! Now I can steal her crap lol. I have not put on snug jeans in forever and actually felt good about how I looked for a change. I have been living in baggy pants and sweats ever since this crap got out of control.

Feel selfish not worring about the family today, but the break was nice, one of the best days I have had in a while. Maybe I need to sneak off and fish more often.