Hi all,

I'm really confused. I haven't been here for a while. A lot of the same has happened with my partner doing his raving 'nana every couple of weeks. Then something happened. I met some one I really, really liked. My partner sensed a change in me and eventually got around to asking me what was going on. Nothing has happened between me and this new friend. I told H. that I had met somebody I would like to spend more time with. It was like skewering him through the heart. He actually doubled up and wailed.

Prior to this H. was playing computer games every moment he could. He would play them while "looking after" our 4 y.o. son. He was drinking way too much which made him a jackass to live with. He did nothing else, not even if I asked him to. He would cook about twice a week and really thought it was enough. He hadn't worked for 18 months when the job he had was hellishly unreasonable and gave him a bleeding ulser and some sort of break down.

Within 2 days he had 3 job interviews and got himself the full time job he hasn't been able to find for 6 years! Now, less than a week later he has tidied and rearranged 3 extremely messy rooms, cooked dinner almost every night, repaired furniture, done a huge amount of laundry, and stood his ground against Centrelink's arrogant incompetence. He has cut down on drinking and playing computer games by about 75% from what I can see. And he's asked me to marry him. He is desperately sorry for his previous "blinkered" behaviour. He really thought he was doing all he could but now he realises that it he could and should have been doing more to keep his family.

And how unfair is this? My heart had already left. I had screamed and cried and run away from home many many times over the past few years and yet it was only when I told him that there was another guy that he finally understood that he had driven me away.

So where did my hopelessly passive aggressive partner go, and will he be back? Can I trust this? Can anybody explain to me what has happened? Or at least just give it a try because it's very strange and kind of weirding me out.

Annette