Perhaps so Anthony! It does seem a bit silly in some respects but we are giving it a try. I assigned the order as I believe it will cause the fewest number of arguments.
For instance, it would never do to have Evie looking out for Jim, as he could not stomach his "little girl" advising him. Honestly I believe Jim would like to check up on Evie and I both and have no one checking up on
him, however that is not going to happen!
Evie and I are attempting the next exercise in the book today. I am going to stagger the exercises so we are doing a new one once or twice weekly at most as to not be overwhelmed. Yesterday's exercise does not count as it is more of a maintenance plan than an exercise. In any event, this exercise seems quite painful! However I think it will be very beneficial for both of us. I hope Jim decides to participate later on.
Quote:
This exercise enables one to keep a balanced perspective with regards to feelings of guilt. Firstly, list everything you feel guilty for; all the harsh words or events you would change if you could, all the incidents that in your mind could have contributed to the loss of your loved one. Allow your mind "free reign" and list even very small incidents. Whilst writing the list, allow yourself to cry, curse or whatever feelings you need to express.
When finished, take a deep breath and ponder how much you loved your departed family member. Think of all the times you went out of your way to help them. Think of all the kind and loving experiences, thoughts, words and deeds you shared with this person. List all these positive and loving communications and thoughts. Include minor actions as well. Keep writing until you have at least as many positive actions as ones you feel guilt for. This exercise should help you to see that you really haven't much to feel guilty about.
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