Hi. I'm new here too. I am dealing with much of the same issues that you are. Only my dh has been diagnosed with this horrific disorder. Also, it is fortunate that we(my children and myself) don't live with him. The only thing I can offer up as advice is to get help. If he is doing all this, he definitely needs help. Whether it be from a chaplain who has spent time over there(because many don't want to talk to those who don't have a clue) or a pshychiatrist.

Your dh is in there somewhere. That is what I keep telling myself. Don't push. Don't nag. That will set up triggers for the "flight or fight" effect. And by the sounds of it the later will ensue. The most important is to realize the need for patience. Luckily for me, I have a lot of that. Plus, I love him so much that I refuse to give up on him-or our family.

Good luck. I will be sending up lots of prayers for you.