KT, several times, I had put myself in horrible, shameful places simply because I felt deeply threatened to say no. If it happens at all these days, it's so mild, it's ridiculous, meaning it over nothing more than an unexpected guest shows up at our door and wants to visit, I'm not then truly interested in any visit at the time, bc perhaps I'm too busy, but sometimes I don't say no, not now. That's it.

Other than this, SOME THINGS, significantly changed in me that entirely stopped for me this bigger problem:

(those awful times when Not saying and meaning No, threatened to involve me in something that then definately WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA!, and/or Threatened to be injurious and/or even worse, Was injurious or self-harming.)

It's not hard for me to clearly identify within what caused my inability to say No in important matters, but it's hard to now put it into words. I'll just say it was an enormous amount of my neurotic GUILT, unexamined FEARS, and feelings and developed / (ing) false BELIEFS about my complete unworthiness.

When I examine and discuss at the root of my problems, I see differently, more accurately, and when I consider and see differently I effortlessly think differently. It is this new thinking followed by my pers. understanding and respect for my needs that I've taken necessary action. And, in this case, my action being, ...........Saying, Meaning and Sticking with.............. No!

But, I could never then just have forced myself to have said No, ...yes, it was quite automatic. This huge problem dropped away from me then, and so much now is improving again from the inside out, through me going to great lengths to examine and discuss the root of my problems.

KT, the only reason why I'm sharing my experience with this, is because I know that it has and works this way with me and see it working with others too. So I trust that it can work the same way for others as well.

BTW, KT I've read and see that you've started a diary and have gotten a good start on it. I hope it's possible for you to pace yourself, balance these efforts and get in some self-care during this process, but I see you doing good work, and hope you keep it up.

I must say I didn't start out pacing, balancing or getting in much self-care while starting out. For the time being though, I can do this and it seems to work great and it is an enormous improvement to how I felt before, when I didn't.

I'm super-sensitive to saying the wrong thing, that might get perceived neg. or differently then intended, so I assure you now KT, I couldn't have taken this time to write all this if I didn't both care and relate. We're worth it!

So again, I do hope you keep up the good work, KT.

Hope