Dave's memorial is tomorrow and I'm haveing MAJOR anxiety about it. The only friend I have left from that particular group of friends is going with me, I wouldn't be able to go alone. I am afraid this guy (that Dave told me stabbed him because Dave was protecting me) might be there...It has been so long since I have seen most of these people and I know there's going to be a huge group. I almost feel like packing my husband's 40 to feel safe, but I never carry in public. I am trying to be brave but so many thoughts have been racing through my head, no sleep, no appitite...I know some of the people that ran over his body and helped decapitate him are going to be there, I just want to go to sleep.