Thanks Y'all !

I was in the Hospital a few years back and also on sick leave while I changed meds last year. The Company knows I have PTSD. I'm sure my boss knows also. Thats not a good thing! What ever you do dont let your job know anything. I didn't tell them but when I filed for FMLA twice in the past few years, HR wanted a reason and the VA gave them my info. Great right! Nope. These days anyone working with mental issues it scares the business. They are afraid of someone going on a shooting spree.

As for Therapy. Yes I was in 1 on 1 sessions and then my counsler recommended group after almost 2 yrs. I went to one group meeting and just couldn't handle it. So its been about 9 months since I had any kind of therapy. I go every 3 months for Med checkups.

Here's another subject. I do not want to go back to the Physc Ward again. It was totally messed up. Your stuck in a group of people who suffer from all kinds of mental issues. I was ready to beat the heck outa some of them and thought about escaping. I was only there about 7 days, I did what I was told the Docs what they wanted to hear so I could get outa that place.

I'm kinda scared about going back to therapy, cause I know they will send me away for 3 or 4 months to another place and I would lose my job or paychecks. I know the VA will pay me if I go but my wife cannot handle another thing like that. Taking care of 6 children on here own. Imagine that!

Family helping out is not a option. They all live thousands of miles away and have health problems, work and kids to take care of themselves.

So I stew in this stuff everyday with a shotgun in my mind to solve the issue, but cannot do that to my family.

If the VA could help out my wife and kids someway I would go away for help. The VA has big problems these days and dont see getting any help with that. If they have any help it would probably take a year to get approved....