Tabitha, what you are experiencing is all very normal for someone who has been put through what you have. You are the victim, and its ok to accept that. You have been violated in one of the human souls most indecent ways, molestation as a minor, at a point when your not as capable to defend yourself as one generally is as an adult.

To have family members do such an act is pretty much the lowest form of humanity, because these are the very people who's role it is to guide us and protect us into adulthood. There are some seriously sick individuals upon this planet, no doubt about that.

I have no doubt that coming face to face with an offender on the holidays is what through you over the edge, because it would have stimulated ever single event and emotion pretty much well, all the way back to your early childhood.

You need to know, your not alone, help is available, and providing you want to help yourself, there is a far better side to PTSD than where your at now.