Those are tough issues that will require a lot of soul searching. In my case, therapy was a big help. I can't profess to have any answers, but I'll share my experience. I've had to sever ties with family members and set boundaries.

I have no contact with my sister. I used to wonder what I did to make her hate me so much that she would sit by and watch someone try to choke the life out of me. I've come to realize that it wasn't my fault and I have every right to be angry with her. I don't want her to be a part of my life. I needed to let go of the guilt that is often a big part of PTSD to become comfortable with that decision.

I've also severed ties with my father. At one time I thought that he abandoned me as a child because I was really rotten. When I got older and he asked me for money and help with things I felt obligated. As time past I realized that I could never do enough. He was constantly criticizing and calling me names. There was no way that I could make him love me. I also realized that I didn't love him (as he really is). I was in love with some fantasy of what I thought a father should be. He what he is, it's not my fault that he's my father, and I don't have to let him use me as a door mat.

My mother suffers from severe chronic depression. She's manipulative and likes to dish out guilt trips. She isn't mean or evil and I want her to be a part of my life. By the same token, the last thing I need is someone helping me feel guilty and depressed. I sort of keep her on the fringes of my life. I avoid her when I'm feeling down and am careful not to give her too much information about what's going on in my life.

I suppose this all sounds rather harsh. These were painful decisions. For me, it was a matter of self preservation. I feel better about myself now that I've let go of the guilt and stopped banging my head against a wall.

Please take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you.
Red