Geneva:

Many of us have struggled with boundaries. In fact it's common to struggle with them whether with abusers or not.
Now, what I see is some serious black and white thinking. You're only seeing this as either I have to have contact or none at all. However, a middle ground can exist.

Only you will be able to decide what type of contact you want if any, I just wanted you to realize that it doesn't have to mean drastic changes. You could limit the amount of phone calls and physical contact, you could send only letters etc...

It is very hard to set and maintain healthy boundaries, especially if the boundaries have always been unhealthy previously. Expect to have every boundary you set, tested and pushed for quite some time. You may be changing and trying to get healthy but that doesn't mean anyone else around you is!

bec