Bec,

What you're saying makes a lot of sense. When I'm feeling good, it's much easier to be around my mother. I'm much less apt to get sucked into her black hole of depression. In time, I may be able to increase my exposure to her with less impact on my own well being.

Some of the questions I asked myself: How does spending time with this person affect me? Is doing so a form of self abuse (a continuation of childhood abuse)? Is there a way to change the relationship to make it less harmful? Is there still a potential for violence?

Unfortunately, I'm still so angry with my sister that I have the urge to beat the crap out of her every time I see her. I haven't done that in over 20 years. Now I turn and walk away and generally avoid her at all possible costs. For now, that's the best I can do. I'm not sure if it will ever get better - not sure she's worth the effort.

The last time I saw dear old Dad, he was throwing his dirty dishes at me because I refused to pay for his anger management classes. (He didn't need those ********* classes by the way.) Family or not, there is a limit to how much any of us should be willing to put up with.

Regardless of the circumstances are, these are gut wrenching agonizing decisions!

Red