Oh yes----I have suffered from an eating disorder my entire life. I thought that when I got older (I'm 51 now), I would be able to be happy with my body and weight-but that just isn't so.

When I was little, I used to overeat (with my mother constantly watching me and negatively commenting), and then in college I found out the amount of control I had by not putting food into my mouth. It felt so good to deprive myself-sick.

I was down to 80 lbs and still losing when I had a type of "intervention" from some friends. It worked, but to the extreme-In 5 months I had gained 50 lbs.

I have since gone way down again. Since having gone through menapause though, it has been difficult to go down to my "ideal" weight (probably a blessing). My eating disorder is now back to the starvation one. I watch the clock so that I can eat at 6pm and not before. Then after eating dinner, I take a sleeping pill to go to sleep so I won't eat anymore until the next day. I excerise weekly (not as obsessive as I once did), and I get on the scale whenever I need to go to the bathroom (stripping off all my clothes to get the correct weight). I don't use the laxatives and diuretics like I used to though (big deal, huh!). I could tell you all kinds of things I did, but I think you get the picture. I should have probably been hospitalized, but back in the 70's, no one really knew what "anorexia" was. I have borderline osteoporosis and that still doesn't make me stop-it is terrible.

I have had people tell me how "great" I look for having lost 11 lbs in 3 months (about the same time my PTSD started to really kick in and I made the decision to come off a "mood stabilizer"). I was a size 8, and am back down to a size 6. I am afraid to put any food into my mouth in fear of gaining that extra pound. I have a teenage son, and try to tell myself that I need to stay "healthy" and take care of myself, but it just doesn't matter.

Sorry-didn't mean to get carried away with my story-but I just wanted you to know that there are even older people out here that just can't kick the habit. My sister (who suffered the same childhood trauma as I) also suffers from anorexia. She is 59. But she will binge in front of people, and then starve for days after (chain smoking and drinking black coffee). She is not receiving any help at this time.

We just started treating my PTSD, and hopefully that will help my self esteem issue, and finally let me eat. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening any too soon.

Good Luck
nor