Hi all. I'm a 22 year old female and suffer from PTSD. Last year right before Christmas, I was robbed at gunpoint while on my way to the hospital where I was performing my clinical rotation. The second I saw the gun to my face I prepared myself to die...I really thought he was going to kill me. He took everything, gift cards I was going to use to buy people Christmas gifts, checks that I was going to cash after my clinical day was over... so not only was I dealing with what happened, but I was financially set back and that caused a lot of worry as well.

I am afraid to go out alone and sometimes just the thought of doing so will set me into a panic attack. On good days when I can go someplace by myself, I look over my shoulder every five damn seconds. I hate being home alone, I literally hide when someone knocks at the door and jump a mile high when something like the ice machine makes a noise. I recently started having nightmares about it and it's dragging up the feelings I felt when the event happened. I can't stand seeing the asshole in my dreams.

I graduated about 6 months ago and have been putting off finding a job because I'm just so scared to go out so early in the morning when it's still dark out, to a place I'm unfamiliar with. People in my life that I let in and open up to just don't seem to understand. They make me feel like I'm acting like such a baby for being so affected by another person's actions. They think telling me to "buck up, push forward, don't let him run your life" etcetc is helpful advice but words like that mean nothing to me...it's like telling someone with depression to just not be so sad.

Anyways, it felt good to just get that all out. I'm really at a dead end here, I feel like I just can't live like this anymore.. and I'm glad I found this place because I really need somewhere to go where people actually understand. Thanks so much for reading.