It is very hard for children to understand.. I think you are right in that he is in denial and just plan doesn't understand it all. All I can say is when my grandmother died.. we are all a very close family too... my oldest daughter was around that same age and she had a very hard time understanding too. She didn't have the deployment excuse but it did take her a good long time to understand she really wasn't coming back. I think it was a slow process for her to come to terms and figgure it all out in her young mind. This is very different from what you are experiancing seeing as it was a loved grandmother and not a parent. But the same as any person I would think talking and suport and understanding sound like the best bet unless something changes. I do think when he comes to term with it.. and actually cry's and greaves for his father knowing he is gone.. it should get better for him seeing as that would truly let him see Travis and Krista as the people that will alwase be there for him from now on.