My, I do like Karen, she sounds like such a sensible woman! I am so pleased you have her.

Now regarding your feelings about Matt. Firstly Bec, I do wonder if perhaps your thoughts are partially a PTSD symptom? As you know one characteristic of PTSD is to believe one has a shortened future or no future. Perhaps you could be extending those beliefs from yourself onto Matt?

As a social worker, I do understand your concerns as I have seen far too many cases of "wasted lives" due to lack of support, treatment, proper education and so on. However I believe I have told you before that you have already broken the cycle in my eyes, by attempting to heal yourself and make your life better. When you are happier and your life is better, Matt's will naturally be better and happier as well. You have only just begun your new life in Thunder Bay, apart from the negative influences of your relatives, and only begun to receive some decent treatment for Matt. It is far too soon to determine how Matt is going to turn out in the future. I don't believe you may even use yourself as a measuring stick as you were not receiving good treatment all these years either. I suspect the longer you are in Thunder Bay and the more you fight for yourself and Matt the better things will be in the long run for both of you.

Truly I believe in having hope, hope is a very powerful thing. When Evie was 16 a doctor told the family she could never live on her own, have a job, get married, even drive a car. Well, Evie did live on her own for 5 years, she has had a very good job, and she is going for her driver's license on Monday! I could believe that she will always need the assistance of Jim and myself, that she will always need to live very close to us and so on, however I choose not to think that way. I truly believe thinking positively about it, and telling Evie she can do whatever she wishes in life, does influence her future!

Should Matt have disabilities which prevent him from continuing school in a normal fashion or getting a "normal" job, there are agencies which help. I am assuming Thunder Bay has such an agency, which assists the disabled in getting an education and finding work. My nephew David, who has schizophrenia, was never able to finish school however he has a very good job as a sound mixer for a studio (he loves music). He retained the job through such an agency. He lives on his own in a nice apartment, close to his parents but still on his own. He makes enough money that he was able to buy his own car as well. He is very social and has a girlfriend.

I suppose I am giving you these examples Bec to show that independence and a successful life are not impossible. With a disabled person, there simply needs to be more care taken to find suitable employment and education, tailored to the person's abilities and disabilities. Please do not give up hope for Matt or yourself either. When the time comes for Matt to be independent, if you wish I will certainly try to assist you however I can. I do have some connections in Ontario, colleagues I used to work with. In any event do take care and try to think positively about both your futures.