That is exceptional advice Tammy! I had never thought of the calendar idea however it would definitely put things in perspective, wouldn't it?
Maryjane, it is lovely to have you here. I agree with everything Tammy has said. Yes they are ill and their illness explains much of their behaviour, however when they behave badly they still must own it and take responsibility. There are certain aspects you may tolerate and others absolutely not. Everyone is different in that regard, you must work out your own boundaries for yourself. However I would think that abandoning you whilst grieving for your father is a pretty big event. As Tammy mentions, it more than likely triggered him and/or he was uncertain what to do, however that is not an excuse. Have you spoken to him about it? Told him how you felt about his actions?
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Originally Posted by maryjane He has chronic PTSD, and if there's no cure for this I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to treat him like he treats me, and make him hurt like I hurt, but I can't bring myself to do that because that is not my nature. |
Sadly Maryjane there is no cure for PTSD. Sufferers can learn to manage themselves nicely with much hard work, however it is still a permanent disability. If you wish to remain with your boyfriend you really must accept this fact. He will not be the person he was before PTSD.
If you are going to remain with him, it is imperative you learn as much about PTSD as you can. You may begin by reading the information sections here upon the forum; there is much excellent information to be had. And as Tammy mentions there are several people here in your situation, we all understand PTSD and what it is to live with someone who suffers from it. We are always here should you wish to vent, ask questions or simply chat. You may also ask the advice of the sufferers themselves, personally I find their comments most useful.
In any event, take good care and welcome to the forum!