MaryJane:

I really suggest that you read the cup explanation found here: Understanding PTSD - Edited

I would like to point out a few things.

He went to the funeral okay, but then told you to go and be with your folks and that he doesn't want to be around you all the time.

Now I realize your grieving and I'm sorry for your loss. That said, your partner was trying to let you know he can't handle it. The stress was too much and he needed a break from it. You didn't listen, instead forced him to stay beside you. Which then lead to him blowing up and leaving.

He tried to tell you in his way that it was too much. The result was him blowing up for being pushed beyond his limit to deal with it.

This is normal behavior for us sufferers. I'm not saying it's right or that he doesn't have ownership for his actions though. I'm trying to show you WHY he left and how the cue was missed there.

Also, when you ask a question (that seems so simple for you) and he blows up, that is a good indication of how high his stress levels are. His cup overflowed. It is not the question so much as the stress it causes. Asking us a question means we have to process that question. Then we have to think of the options. Then we have to pick the best option. Then we have to communicate that option. This is well beyond a sufferer's capabilities when over stressed or with uncontrolled symptoms.

Living with a sufferer means that you have to watch the sufferer's stress levels and act according to those. You need to read as much information as possible and APPLY it to your actions. He has to do the same thing. It's a tricky and long hard road to embark on. If your looking for him to be a rock of support for you, your going to be very disappointed.

It's good news that he has a group he attends and that he is bringing home information for you. He is trying, but this takes a lot of time and a lot of patience on your part.

I hope that was helpful some.
bec