Hi yaya, Welcome to the forum and nice to read your introd. I too have had PTSD for a very, very long time, though I'm not sure when exactly it developed.

Quoted what I did above bc, it reminds me so of that feeling of feeling/being disconnected with myself, and all that identity confusion that I've suffered along the way, first throughout much abuse and then later again as I attempted to sort through it all and locate me amongst the rubble.

In the last yr. I've again found and reconnected (ing) with myself, feel dynamite about all this and I'm accepting the me that I've found. In fact, I'm not the unfeeling, fearless stone that I would've liked others to think I was, far from it; Rather quite to the contrary.

Anyhow, this is about welcoming you, and quite frankly the reason I've shared me here with you is bc, I do identify with living so much of life suffering with PTSD.

For me this meant not knowing it and blaming myself for others not understanding. Also, always feeling alone, riddled with guilt-(mine and others) and so deeply ashamed.

There are many of us on the forum who are just as scared as you're.

I'm finding the more and more I allow for, accept my many fears, and respond despite it all, the better my chances are and I am moving beyond so much of it.

And, as for painfully, often debilitating, real fear, it can and does drop away. It does not have to remain perm., as it had felt for me and for too damn' long.

So, now I get to feel stupid for posting this. Truly unsure and thinking I'm foolish for the moment, but not much of a problem.

Oh' well, just thought I'd welcome you ya ya to the forum and let you know you're not alone.

Again, Glad you found the forum, and Welcome!


Hope