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Originally Posted by Nonie  Furthermore, i didn't think it was fair to me that he ended it through an e-mail, and asked him to call me and tell me it's over so that for myself it will actually sink in, and that i will get the closure i need, and move on. I know that sounds selfish, but i just don't think that was right to do it through an e-mail, and he refused to call me because he thought i wanted him to twist with guilt and hear me being upset. |
To someone without PTSD, it would seem rather insensitive to go the email route rather than speaking directly. However Nonie, perhaps that was all he was capable of at the time. PTSD sufferers can have much trouble with confrontation and the emotions of others. It can be most overwhelming for them at times. As difficult as it is, it is important to not pester and push them beyond their limits. It often only makes matters worse. So, it is best to respect his boundaries, even if they seem unreasonable to you.
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Originally Posted by Nonie I guess that was toying with my emotions, since my feelings were still very strong for him. So when he would open up and say those nice things to me, i would try to fix things with him, but it always failed. It made me feel bitter, emotional, a wreck. |
If he indeed has PTSD and is currently not being treated, I doubt he was purposely toying with your emotions Nonie. Again, please remember, PTSD is a very serious illness which effects how one relates to others. He is likely confused about what he wants. Must you tolerate that? No, absolutely not, you have your own boundaries and you must decide for yourself what you will and will not tolerate. However, it is important to remember that he is not the same as a man without PTSD, and his actions will likely not have the same intent.
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Originally Posted by Nonie In his last e-mail, he did tell me that he needs some time and space too, so i'm doing as he requested and i've backed away. At the same time, this time apart, and no contact is just killing me. |
Since he has directly requested space Nonie, it is important you honour that request. He is likely overwhelmed at present, and if you don't respect his wishes and contact him, you may push him away further. Honestly I would wait until he contacts you, as difficult as that is for you. You are having anxiety issues yourself Nonie. Therefore, perhaps it is best for you to concentrate on yourself at the moment. Take time for yourself, practice the exercises, and get help if need be. If you do plan to be friends with him in future and/or get back together, you will need to be strong. Take care.