Kathy,

Your daughter is so right, you have nothing to apologize for ! You are in pain, the worst possible pain anyone can ever feel. You have every right to feel the way you feel. And everyone should understand that !

I remember telling my cousin "Nothing will ever hurt or scare you as much anymore, you have felt and are facing the worst hurt ever" "life as you knew it has changed"

And I also told her "you have every right to grieve your son AND be angry at him, and scream at him"

There will always be a missing link to your heart, but us "humans" are sooooo strong ! We do heal, in time ! And in time you will remember your son with a smile, remembering the good times ! :)