Thanks everyone, I appreciate all the replies.

I really do trust my therapist though. I trust her more then I trust anyone else in my life. I trust her more then I've ever trusted anyone.

But it's not a 100% thing, because obviously trust is an issue.

Its more about I don't want her to see me. I feel so embarassed that she sees me cry, sees my weaknesses, my vulnerability, sees just how sensitive & emotional & broken I am. I humiliated by that. Even though her responses are very kind. I still feel lonely.

I think maybe I'll ask about moving the chairs slightly as face to face is making me feel very exposed.

We've vaguely talked about this before - she didn't say yes or no to the corner but something along the lines of 'i'd prefer to see you, and prefer that the shame didn't take over when it's already got alot of power'.

She's a wonderful supportive challenging therapist, so the problem is with me and my distortions, I'm just not sure how to override these defenses or the shame.