FLF, I can't speak for you specifically but I do know that some people have more severe symptoms than others. For me, I was diagnosed on the severest end of the scale in every category of diagnostic criteria. I have never been able to hold down a "normal" job for more than a few days. The only kind of work I have been capable of up to this point is something that I may do from my home with no pressure or deadlines. And right now I can't even do that. I can go for days being immobilized and unable to do much at all. In my case it's not a matter of laziness, I am simply too phobic to do certain things regularly; it takes too much emotional and physical energy. If I pushed myself too hard I would get very ill, very quickly. That's not to say I don't ever try to improve, but from previous bad experience I know to go slow and not push myself too hard.

Even when I was living on my own (I live with my family now) and needed the money to live, I still could not work. It was definitely not a matter of choice for me. When I didn't have money, I ended up in a homeless shelter for a few weeks. There I was assisted to apply for welfare. Without the existence of welfare or disability I likely would have ended up on the streets.

You aren't lazy. You wouldn't call yourself lazy if you had cancer and couldn't accomplish things. PTSD is an illness too, and it effects our abilities to accomplish everyday tasks. I understand the feeling of "is this as good as it gets" too. I get that every so often, I wish I could be better than I am and able to do some of the things others can.