Sounds like your mother is feeling guilty and is trying to pass it on to you. Mine just stays in constant denial: "I don't remember it being that bad", "things are different now", "you never had any problems"...and so on.

My parents are not drunks, but they still made some really bad choices without their judgement being affected.

I can't imagine how much worse things might have been if my parents drank too. I feel for you Bec.

Is your dad on the wagon now?