I read your post earlier Kathy and I had to have a good cry and leave the forum for a bit. It was a very moving post and I could only wish that all carer's got that point. Unfortunately they don't.

As both a sufferer and a carer, I understand both view points and both challenges that encompass dealing with PTSD.

Let me drive this point home: As a carer, what you suffer, is little more than a pebble in your shoe, compared to a sufferer.

I am personally disgusted with the attitude that the sufferer is "doing" this to them and that the carer is being victimized. Also the attitude that the sufferer needs to suffer for what "they are doing" is equally disgusting and disturbing.

I have a twelve year old son with full blown PTSD and I would never consider acting nor thinking in the manner that is regularly presented by some carers. It would drive my son over the brink very very quickly.

My son can not help what he feels. He can not undue the damage that his trauma has done to him. He can not undo the PTSD. He does not pass out to hurt me. He does not be "lazy" and refuse to do things to hurt me. He does not lash out in anger to hurt me. He does not shut me out to hurt me. He doesn't do anything to hurt me. He is hurt. He suffers. It is all he can do to manage his own damn symptoms without having to worry about getting punished for being sick.

I worry every day if I am being helpful enough. Am I being supportive enough? Am I fostering an environment that is safe and secure to help him learn, challenge and grow in? I worry about HIM.

I know how real the threat to life is. As a sufferer, I have attempted suicide. I have had to remove myself from my home and be around supportive friends just to keep myself alive for a few more hours. I have struggled with heart problems, health problems on top of depression and suicidal thoughts. I know as my son's carer, he does too.

The very point of being a carer is that you care about your loved one that suffers. You put them first, not yourself. You make sacrifices for their benefit. If you can not do this, leave that relationship immediately.

This is an incurable, LIFE THREATENING disorder that has taken at least one of our members lives, carer's family members and leaves the rest of us sufferers fighting for our own.

It is time for all carers to grasp this and do what is best for their sufferer.

bec