Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathy  Since he has directly requested space Nonie, it is important you honour that request. He is likely overwhelmed at present, and if you don't respect his wishes and contact him, you may push him away further. Honestly I would wait until he contacts you, as difficult as that is for you. You are having anxiety issues yourself Nonie. Therefore, perhaps it is best for you to concentrate on yourself at the moment. Take time for yourself, practice the exercises, and get help if need be. If you do plan to be friends with him in future and/or get back together, you will need to be strong. Take care. |
Thanks for your reply again, Kathy. I did exactly the above and stuck with the no contact/need space and time deal. Like i mentioned in my first post in this thread...we had both said we needed the time and space--so, since we we're in agreement with that, i stuck to it.
Ever since those e-mails were written back and forth, i never got in touch with him again. I didn't e-mail him, i didn't IM him even though i would see him online either. He never e-mailed me, and he never IMed me either when he would see me online either. This went on for about 12 days....but yesterday he broke the No Contact Rule.
I'm not too sure why he did this?? He asked me how i was, and what's new? I told him i was doing good, and nothing new going on, just the same old. Then he took it upon himself to tell me that he found a new job stateside. So i told him "good for you, i'm happy for you". To which he told me "Thanks, i hope i pass their requirements, i kinda need this...". And i had wrote back and said "Yes you do".
After that, there was a long 2-3 minute silence, but i could see that he was typing me an IM back, but was taking a very long time writing it. I noticed it would say he was writing...then it would stop...then it would say he was writing...then it would stop....so i'm not too sure if he ended up deleting a LONG IM that he perhaps was going to send me?
In the end, what he ended up writing back was pretty short...He said "Anyway...just wanted to see if i could say hi, i'm going to sleep now...hope all is well with you and that you are well". Those were his exact words. And as i was typing him a response back..which would have eventually read: "I'm doing great, thanks for asking...take care, bye"....he had already signed off. So that last message i was going to send him, never got delivered. Maybe he signed off so quickly because i was being so short/blunt or too the very point?
I didn't say anything that could have lead to a conversation. He did most of the talking, and i was just responding to his messages with 3-4 words at the most. I didn't ask him any questions about his new job, or where it's located exactly, or when he's coming back home from Iraq, or if he's expected to stay in Iraq until this deployment finishes....i didn't say a word that would have LEAD to a longer conversation.
I'm not sure why he broke the no contact rule here, especially since he said he needed time and space himself...he also told me to take all the time i need, and then contact him when i'm ready. Clearly, i am not ready, yet he still took it upon himself to message me last night when he saw me online, and there have been days within the 12 days of no contact...that we were both online at the same time, and i completely stopped myself from contacting him, and so did he. Yet, last night he messaged me.
Not sure what to think of this...i feel like he is messing with my emotions, because he clearly stated in his last e-mail to me that he doesn't want to talk about why he broke up with me, and he is sick and tired of it. So if that's the case, then why is he keeping in touch with me?? He knows i'm hurting so BAD over all of this, and he knows i care so much about him too. I also feel like he messaged me to let me know he got a job back stateside, and perhaps he wanted to see for himself if he still has a chance to reconcile with me when he comes home eventually?? I'm not sure,any insight at all, Kathy? Or anyone else perhaps?