TScorpio1,

Welcome to the forum. You will find many people here who have suffered at the hands of the people who were supposed to be responsible for them. It p@&!es me off!! My natural father was a bastard and my step-father no better, thank god for my mum. I was lucky with that windfall and count my blessings often that I had a mum courageous enough to get us out (me and my brothers) of two already bad, with potential to get much worse situations. My mum left my natural father after he left his man sized hand print on the back of me as a toddler, it wasn't going to get any better from there. My stepfather was an alcoholic. Despite the fact that both of them come from abusive backgrounds I feel no sympathy or remorse for either of them and have not had contact for years. I understand to some extent where you are coming from with the rejection business, I am still dealing with the legacy of their nasty and inadequate parenting skills and that is one of the nasty hangovers. I have also found that anger is another one of those legacies and its probably the hardest to let go of and manage. Life gives you so many reasons to be angry!! Anyhow, I have vowed to be a way better parent than either of them were and I have my mum's example to follow thankfully.

The only thing that saved me was my mum and the fact that her family were outstanding for support. I can well understand you having PTSD from that environment. Of all people I don't get mums the most who will not look after their children, I love my son and the one on the way to bits and pieces. I would do anything to ensure that they are looked after.