Hi Scorpio, welcome to the forum.

For both scorpio and andrea, in regard to leaving a spouse. Let me put it as simple as I can for you both. Do you love your partner? Its a yes or no answer, and thats all it is. If the answer is NO, then you need to do what you need to do, if the answer is YES, then the rest is simple, work through the problems. Are the problems going to be resolved in a month, year or two even? Most likely not, because the sheer trauma you both have, and your partner Andrea, it is going to take years of learning how to break the cycles you have become accustomed, and retrain your minds to approach life and events differently.

Anger is actually an emotional response, not so much an emotion by itself, because to get anger, you have other feelings (emotions) which are causing that anger. Try and isolate anger, and you will see that it must come with a feeling (emotion) to be active, ie. hurt, rejected, unloved, etc etc... Whilst some literature will classify anger as an emotion, it is actually an emotional response to another emotion.

Want to rid the anger, then you now need to deal with the emotions.