What Anthony said is so true Nie. I have struggled for years against the fight of being pulled down every time I improved myself and my life. I have had to make the choice that, even though I love my mum and desperately wish she would understand me, I must walk my path as it makes me happy and I am a better person for it. I had to set myself free and the cost was a relationship with my mum (as in not having the one I wanted) however I don't have all the struggles anymore which used filled my head with knowing what was right but trying to act how my mother wanted me to. My family is somewhat toxic in their thinking and I still love them all but I have to make myself happy first by being true to what I believe in.

Stay strong and do what is best for you as that is what you have to live with.