"I know she will ask me if I have a plan etc. So I am afraid to tell her the truth. Don't want her to freak out and then I end up in hospital, that would make me feel even worse",

I told my doctor that I felt like I wanted to commit suicide once and he freaked out and wanted to put me in the hospital.

He asked me and I told him the truth. At the time I didn't have a plan and these were fleeting thoughts that come and go.

I had to tell him that I've had these thoughts for years and I can control them, and if he put me in the hospital it would only make things worse. I had to convince him I wasn't going to kill myself just because I felt that way.

I used an example that made him understand what I was talking about. I said to him, "Maybe you feel like going out and getting drunk after work today, but it doesn't mean your going to do it" I told him that is how I feel, just because I want to do it, doesn't mean I'm going to. What I want to do and what I'm going to do are TWO different things.

He got the point and didn't send me to the hospital. I told him that if he pulled that crap again I wouldn't never admit to my suicide thoughts, and that I knew when I needed to be hospitalized.

I'm not sure what your situation is so it's up to you if you want to tell him/her. If you feel you have the thoughts under control, and don't need hospitalization you can tell your T the same thing I told mine and hope he/she understands this.

IMHO I think it's best to be honest with doctors and therapists, that way they can better treat your symptoms.

Peace
Tammy