seeking nirvana, thanks for your advice, you understand exactly how I feel. What I want to do and what I will do are two different things. It is hard to explain when I see her thought, it is almost like I lose my voice when someone asks what I am doing.

Veiled I know that I need to be honest, and I have tried. Just when I get up the courage to tell her the truth, I sort of freeze up. I think maybe I will print out this thread, maybe that would help me explain things better. I always write better than speaking anyway