Holidays have always been very hard. As the time gets closer, I am having more trouble coping. I get no relief from anywhere. Problems at home, work everything. I just want to go to bed and stay there. But then I wake up in the middle of the night and I cant breathe and just lay there and start thinking too much. Thinking about financial and personal problems. I know once I get through the holidays things will get better. It's hard when you have kids and you dont want to let them see you upset or stressed. I have to let them know that we will be okay. They worry too much about me already. I just want them to have a good childhood. I just have to keep telling myself that things will work out and concentrate on the positive and not on the negative anymore. I cant worry about the stuff I cant control any longer.