I hate that I understand all that you just said. But, I do know one thing, and that is that the bad times ALWAYS pass. It just seems like they're going to last forever. I think this is one of the scariest, loneliest, saddest and hardest things about ptsd - the struggle to find some faith or hope or just something to keep you going when you really really feel like ending it all.

As for the crying thing. I rarely cry. I can sometimes cry for someone else's loss or hardship, but I can't cry for me. I think that maybe I'll lose it altogether and I'll get carted off to some asylum somewhere. Sometimes I think that's not such a bad idea, but I would miss my dog - although, if they let me take her with me, I might consider going.........