You have a lot at once. I am looking at you are anticipating anniversary. That will not help, I know as I am guilty as charged. You have a shrink trigger... I would be more inclined to guess you have this going on (nightmares and startle) to this than the other way around as I am going off how I react. Add in holidays even if not a trigger like it or not it is a stressor. It all compiles and general stress will push us over. Many of us start to break in the holiday season.

My hubs knows to cough/clear throat, or just out right say I am behind you when I am seemingly off bad, not sure how the family home knows but they do as my teen son will also tell me mom, I am reaching over you before he goes for a cabinet. A few years ago it would send me in the floor. Now not really but I can at times damn near collapse if not given warning.

My brain is wonky too... I am still learning wonky is not as bad as it is made out to be.