Brian's birthday is coming up very shortly (on the 5th of December) and I find I am quite dreading it. I am thinking back to my pregnancy, Brian being my firstborn, and how happy I was then to become a mother. Brian was a sweet baby. Lately I find myself looking at my new baby grandsons and thinking of Brian at that age. I desperately wish there was something we could have done to help him.

The children think we should do something for Brian's birthday, have dinner perhaps and share memories, however I am not certain I am up to that.