Many many thanks to you all.

Anthony, I read your response the first day you posted, and found I needed at least a day and night to come back and reread the logic. You are correct. I do agree with what you are saying. There have been many times when I have walked away so angry with myself for having unnecessarily apologized.

And both you and Veiled are right about it being his "opinion", and not "fact/law". I have a problem with always putting his "opinion" way above my own. I have rarely gone back in and disagreed with what he said. I grew up in a household where my father or brother always spoke the final word and we were to never challenge it (god help you if you did). Thus, I have a difficult time challenging my therapist's opinions. I need to have mulled it over for days, and written it down on a piece of paper, that I bring in with me next time.

The part about retaliating when hit by someone else.....I would still be the one to apologize, as "good girls" don't react assertively (another household rule). That actually sounds like what the therapist was trying to say as well. I had responded accordingly because I had felt hurt by what he had said. My reaction had been appropriate. That is going to take a long time to relearn.

Thank you DeepestScar and Vera, for letting me know that this is just one more thing shared in PTSD, and that I am not looking for forgiveness just to act out again.

I do have to learn to trust myself more. And not be so afraid.

I do feel better about going back in next week to see him-thank you all.