nyc, everone will react differently to what we say or how we act. We, as carers have to be aware of our loved one's moods, and know what will "trigger" negative reactions from them. And I know that as hard as we try, we will make mistakes. When that happens, I will say "I am sorry, I didn't mean it the way it sounded".

He gets very upset at loud noises and yelling...so I try to avoid yelling or talking loudly ! We have to try to adjust to a newer way of living. We also have to remember that we don't have to accept everything that they throw our way, PTSD is not an excuse for "bad behavior"

We should never sound like we are always apoligizing...we are learning to cope and live with PTSD just as they are learning to cope and live with it !

In my case I listen a lot...I never push, if he doesn't want to talk ! I always tell him "I am here for you, if you want to talk I will listen".

Whatever they went through for them to have PTSD, we have to realize that it is very real for them ! I never say "I know what you are going through" because I DON'T !

I only say "I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through" and if he doesn't want to talk about what happened to him or how he is feeling, often it is because he doesn't want me to be hurt, scared or feel pity for him. Which I don't !

I do tell him "Whatever you say will not hurt me in the same way as it hurt you...cause I wasn't there, I didn't experience what you experienced"

My bf seems to want and need me to hold him and hear me say "I love you". It is not the same for everyone. I hold him and say "I love you" not only when things are bad but also when things are great !

I often find myself telling him how proud I am of him, of the long road he has travelled to be where he is today ! I am proud of the way he never misses a doctor's appointment and how he is careful with his meds...and how hard he is trying !

And very important, I try to keep up my sense of humour....and try to send it his way Lol....I try to make him laugh !

But always remember PTSD doesn't go away.....It can be managed ! The disorder will always be there. There will be many ups but so many downs...Accepting this fact is key to the beginning of a long journey !

Good luck !