The purpose of my life keeps changing as I go through my healing process.

Some people say they want a life like mine, but they don't really know me. These are happily married women who have children. What they don't know is I don't connect with people, I don't trust and I don't even know if I have ever loved. Who would want a life like that?

Life, as I see it, is looking up my PTSD buddies. Knee surgery took me away from all the things that kept me so busy. Time to think gave me new perspectives on my life. I learned there are people who do like me for me and were there for me. I live alone and taking care of myself was not possible at first. My friends have not allowed me to disconnect. Even though most don't know I have PTSD, they know I will disconnect and they didn't allow it to happen. This has helped me learn to trust a few of my friends.

I'm also learning what love is. Not a love between two people, just the feeling of loving life and loving myself.

Being able to love, trust and connect is what I want to do with my life at this time.

vst