I believe what my darling and beautiful partner is trying to say is; how does she manage her own stress in order for it not to impact upon me!

The reason for this is that whilst I can handle ups and downs by themselves, Nic has been under a lot of stress lately from her company. Some of this she has control over though has not managed herself effectively, some she does not have control over and is not her fault, which I support her through. Basically, she is stressed and is really asking what those who suffer PTSD have to learn also, stress management, control of ourselves and our lifestyles, accepting what we do and do not own. Whilst the whole Kerrie issue has caused me a deal of stress recently at times, Nic's added stress has thrown me over the edge at times, though basically made me quite cranky for the majority of the time at present.

I have the capacity to support Nic for short durations, ie. week or two of high stress without falling over myself, however; longevity makes me quite ill still regardless what I know and have healed my self.

Background always helps IMHO to answer these questions.

My own recommendations to Nic yesterday is that she must manage herself more effectively otherwise it impacts me, which then I become cranky and nasty, which reflects to her, which makes her more stressed and ill; the cycle becomes nasty. How to break the chain is the ultimate question I believe. When all this occurs I become quite ill, to the point where suicidal ideation re-enters my mind. Me being ill then stresses Nic further, making her extremely worried about me, and so the cycle continues.

Yes, I have my part in this being to manage myself. She will not be in a relationship of abuse, I will not be in a relationship of constant stress which makes me emotionally abuse anyone period. Its a two fold effect where what I have always stated; both sufferer and carer must at all times control their parts of stress management so the relationship can function without any emotional abuse what so ever.