Hi Linda, what comes to my mind when I read about your husband is 'control'. Trying to control the environment in order to make it as save and predictable as possible. Going through trauma is extremely unpredictable and out of control. So the present has to be as predictable as possible.
I know a bit about this, cause my wife has complex PTSD. Within a certain frame/latitude, I have freedom, but once she perceives that I am overstepping that frame... she reacts with fear and control, not cognitive though, but emotions based.
Well, so far. Harry