Nothing to seriously complain about today. A good day.

I will note though that one of my biggest frustrations days, even good ones, is that there is never, ever, enough time to accomplish all that I wish I could.

Not at all uncommon for life, only I still wish that I could free up more time, by dropping any further thought, painful rememberance, illness and symptoms entirely from my days so that I could move in other directions too, accomplish more goals and dreams, and be the Wife and Mommy, that I've placed my expectations at.

So, even on good days, there is this dissatisfying ache both in my heart and stomach that too frequently harrasses and signals me to know: I haven't done enough yet.

Naturally, this thought: 'I STILL HAVEN'T DONE ENOUGH YET', only perpetuates added stress in mine and my families lives. And, sometimes it's this damning thought: 'I'm not good enough, well enough, fit enough ......whatever enough...... yet. I MUST BE, MORE... DO, MORE... KNOW, MORE... SEE, MORE... ect., ect. ect., than I do, bc until I do I'M NOT ENOUGH!

Though I can see just in writing this my faulty thinking here; It's like deeply embedded in my psyche', and shoves and pushes me around days, wks. and mo.'s and even on good days. Some days are better than others, but I'm a pain in my ass with this typical thinking and believing of Mine. It goes as far as, feeling as if I'm being whipped ....... Quicker,...Faster,...More,...Better,...STILL NOT ENOUGH. Ouch!

Frustrating!