I'm sorry I vomited out my usual stream of self-hatred there. Thank you, Becvan for saying that but I've had years now of doing the positive thinking thing and ending up on my own over and over again. And I don't have anyone in my hinterland to make me feel human, seeing other people with their mum/husband/ brother/ best mate/girlfriend jsuyt makes me want to kill everybody on the planet. I know I'm special but nobody wants it. Everybody's got their importan tpeople and it's never me. I know I'm supposed to do exercises and all that strategy stuff but I've been doing it for so many years and it doesn't work. I'ver earned it by now and it's not there.