Yah I see what you mean. Someone before me had said that before he left when he told me to stick by him if he changes or becomes distant that he may have been thinking "I dont want you but I dont want anyone else to have you" and I was defending him and saying I know he didnt mean it that way when he said it. I know him very well and before he left when he said that he was trying to prepare me because he knew that the previous deployment had changed him. I dont know as I said if he has PTSD (diagnosed) but I know he has never once mistreated me. Even on his last one when all that damage was done emotionally, everyone who was around him then said he changed and was distant but didnt abuse or anything like that. He has never been a cheating, abusive man even ater the last deployment. I do need to think of now and not then because I know things change though. All I see him doing as of now is withdrawing. He is working 7 dyas a week, 2 hr days. I have only been sticking by him because his 18 day leave is coming in Jan and because I felt that that warnign he gave me before he left may be coming to reality now and I am trying to keep my committment not to leave him as he asked me too. I just want to do the rt thing and so I guess we will see if me stopping contacting him makes him worse, although I scared of that but we will see. Thanks so much