Man does your post ever sum it up!!!! I know this is horrible, but sometimes I feel like she is fighting with the past so hard that it is ruining our present...at what point do we as supporters say it's just not worth it for either of us? If we have those thoughts, and I know we do, does guilt keep us around? Do we wonder if they better off on their own learning to overcome their personal demons without the responsibility of holding up half a marriage at the same time?

Reminds me of a house we bought once...it was an old one that needed restoration. We thought we could live in it and restore it at the same time...didn't work and we almost divorced over it! From that point on, we swore to never buy an old home unless we could move in that day...sort of an apt analogy, especially when the spouse isn't aware of the PTSD when he/she says "I do"!!!