I also smoke.. my daugher (10yrs) doesn't like it at all. But I tell her it is my decision and my bad habbit that I will quit when I am ready. You can't quit smoking untill you really are truly committed yourself to do it.. not because others want you to. I only smoke outside or in a closed (smoking room) where the windows are kept open if anyone is in there smoking and the door to the rest of the house is closed. This I do for the protection of the rest of the family and friends that are in the house. Also remember that smoking is a huge stress relief... and sometimes the only stress relief some of us have. Yes it is a very bad habbit.. but there are much much worse ones (like drinking) and in my opinion.. everyone dies sometime and yes I might be cutting years of my life in the long run but I could die in a car accedent tomorrow or something like that too.

Nor I wouldn't put up with the verbal abuse no matter what! But I also wouldn't push the smoking issue if it causes so much bad issues with your husband. It looks like he knows it is a bad habbit but he does smoke outside so he is thinking of his familys heath too. Everyone needs some way to relax and if this is his.. then so be it.
Hope this helps some and hope things get better for you all soon!