Coming from the one who was on the self medicating side and made it out alive... Don't even try to go there while intoxicated. It will be a losing battle and no body wants to fight with a drunk person who can swing into rage at the drop of a hat.

Go for a moment during a "good day" and while sober. Explain it scares you because you love them, and they are risking their life and you don't want to face life without them. Also, go to the doc with them and make sure doc is fully aware! You are not so quick wanting to let doc know what you are doing, but doc being aware can help incorporate this issue in counseling and give you tips. It is a very self destructive course to be on. When you speak to your loved one keep in mind you will need to choose your words carefully and in no form or fashion say anything that could be perceived as a put down, they are already down enough.

The first talk won't work and several more may not. But if you say it in a loving caring manner eventually it sinks in. If you go in with a controlling attitude and one that you are telling the person what to do and what they cannot do you will help put a barrier up that may lead to more consumption to block the pain of even more worthlessness. Also, if you drink stop too. If they are the only ones doing it it sticks out a little more.

A glass of wine or a single beer will ruin all of it. Once you have started the path of self medicating you are no longer in control and have to realize you are in the same boat as any alcoholic and no one around them needs to be consuming to help. When they acknowledge it and are ready to make the shift in gears great, but remember not even one beer. It has to be something never touched again. Hope it helps. And no, I have no idea how my husband did not kill me during my phase of that, but could not have done it without his support.