My husband has PTSD from a motor vehicle accident 7 months ago. He didn't get the proper help (only psychiatric medication - now on anti-depressants) he needed right away. We started to get him some targeted counseling recently, but I think it was too late. Things have gone badly in his life and he reacted by withdrawing completely. After an 8 day stint in bed with severe depression, he has now cut me off, moved out and wants no contact. He said he needs some time away from me and while that sounds as though he doesn't intend for it to me permanent, it has now been almost 3 weeks. He has said that he is not sure yet if he wants a divorce. Luckily I know that is unlikely to be how he really feels (I hope! Not just denial is it?).

He seems to be getting on with life (working WAY TOO HARD) but I am certain it is just him distracting from the issue to the extreme as that was the bad advice he got in the beginning. He has a lot of pressure as he owns and runs his own business which unfortunately has taken quite a blow financially, so now he is working so hard to try to get it back on its feet and thinks that to do that he can’t also include me in his life.

I am affected quite badly, in that I have hurt for him so. He frustrated me to the point where I was telling him off and we were arguing a lot because in my eyes, he was not carrying out his life in a manner helpful to getting on with things and giving due attention to his mental health. So we argued a lot before he left, as he was already drawing away and I was trying to lure him back to me. When this didn’t work I was getting offended and sad and demanding that he be close to me because that's what I thought we both needed. Only it just pushed him further away. I can see it so clearly now.

So now I miss him terribly and my heart breaks for him. I want to some how let him know I am here to support him, and I am not going to be the nagger he couldn’t live with anymore, and that there are things he can do to feel better, I can help him etc. But I want to be so careful in how I approach him as I know he doesn't want to be pushed. So how do I do that? What can I do/say to show him I don't want to dictate him anymore and that he does not need to shut me out? I seriously can’t just sit back and be totally cut off from him much longer. I can give him his space but wish he would give me a chance to show I can do that and be his wife at the same time.

Being apart even this long has been so hard and I’m not much sure how much longer at it my heart can take it. We are just newlyweds. Married only 14 months ago, just 7 months before his accident. We used to be so close and if I had to go away for even just one night we both missed each other so very much. This is the hardest thing.

Anyone been through something similar or do any mental health professionals have any ideas of how I can reach out to him? Not to try to control him but to subtly gently influence him and to make him realise there are better ways forward? I have heard that the way to do it is show them the way without them realising you are doing it and then when they make the decision it really is their own.