Welcome to the forum Bella, always lovely to see new members and I am delighted you have found the Carers section and are participating in posting so quickly. That can only be helpful to you.

Merely for clarification Bella, what do you mean by it being too late? Starting therapy 7 months after your trauma is actually quite early in my experience, and well done to him. Many here have been untreated for years. Or are you meaning too late for him to have counseling to prevent his getting full blown PTSD?

Yes, overworking could definitely be a way for him to cope with his symptoms at the moment. A form of self-medication, similar to drinking, gambling, or other "escapes" when the pain of the symptoms is too great. He also may be trying to save his business however, as you mention it is suffering. Is he currently still in therapy or treatment of any kind?

I am pleased you now realize that the fighting, nagging and pushing him to be there for you and so on is not helpful. That is an important step that many partners have trouble grasping. However Bella, were you doing this fighting and so on up until 3 weeks ago? I must be honest with you, 3 weeks is not a long period of time to be separated. From what you have described, I suspect he is extremely overwhelmed. Not only does he have the symptoms of PTSD to contend with, but he also faced much tension and stress at work, and much tension and stress at home from you! Perhaps he was trying to eliminate one of his stressors? He cannot get rid of the PTSD, and the business is his livelihood and quite likely tied up to his self-esteem as well. So, he asked for a break from the only stressor he is able to have a break from, being you. It is no fun facing that, however I suspect this is what has occurred.

To reiterate, 3 weeks is not a long time for any trial separation. Whilst you are now changed, he may not believe so yet, may not trust you completely because of past experiences. It will take some time for him to build up his trust again if that is the case. The worst thing I believe you can do is try to "force" yourself on him in any manner. Even if you do so very gently, because of past experiences with you pressuring or trying to control him, he may be ultra sensitve or triggered, and still take that as a kind of pressure. Additionally, he may simply be very busy with his work at present, trying to hold things together with the PTSD included and so on. There may be no energy left for you at this point.

What is the current situation? Do you have any contact with him at all, through the telephone, emails, and so on? If you are having some contact with him currently, my suggestion is to perhaps let him know that you have changed, and that things will be different should you reconcile. However then allow him time to absorb that information. How much time he needs is up to him.

I am not saying all this to blame you Bella; far from it. He needs to take responsibility in the relationship as well. It is most unfair for him to "string you along" if that is what he is doing. However, given he has PTSD and is under an incredible amount of stress, his time frame for dealing with this will likely be longer than you would like. I see little else that you may do at present, other than give him the space he needs to sort matters out. You unfortunately cannot force someone to reconcile. Perhaps others will have some additional suggestions. Do keep reading here and posting as much as you like, ask questions and so on. That is most important and will be very helpful to you. Take good care.