Hey desert4now,

I too am one of those spouses who isn't on the receiving end of too much intimacy. If you understand it please enlighten me. I know some of it is to do with the PTSD (emotional intimacy which they are generally not very good at) but in my husband's case I think it is also part of his makeup. His family are not what you would call very affectionate or very close for that matter. I am the opposite, my family always do the hugs, kisses and 'I love you's' which makes it awful hard on me sometimes. If you're having a long spell, honey I am in drought!!

I would like it to change but I really don't know if it will and to that end I sometimes wonder how do you live like this for the rest of your life? It could be fine for others but I tend to be an affectionate beast and the only one who really gets that in our house is Alexander (the toddler) and the cats - rejection is never to far away otherwise and sometimes my heart just can't take it. I find that it has less visible emotional impact if I just don't put myself out there, which of course is contributing to our drought.

I suggest that if the person with PTSD is willing to work on their emotional relationships it could be resolved and that I think is the key.......like anything that requires healing, you have to be willing to do the work. Perhaps, they get to a point where they are so damn comfortable or comfortable in their discomfort that emotional intimacy is just too confronting. I imagine that it would be, in some ways, the worst part of their journey because they not only have to confront their own emotions but be prepared to be confronted with someone elses as well. I don't know that I have shed any light on it for you but at least you know that you are not alone.