Thank you all for your thoughts. I am very happy to know everyone agrees it is all right to tell her not to cry. Truthfully we knew it was, the doctor warned us against her crying, shouting, laughing - anything that puts a strain on the lungs. However I was feeling a bit guilty about it all the same. Bec your explanation of the difference was most helpful and of course you are right. Anthony, we are slowly talking things through with her, unfortunately she gets only so far, then wants to cry, so we stop. We are encouraging her to sleep. She has been quite good about controlling her crying though, that is a relief.